Yeh jo Zindagi...

Yeh jo Zindagi,
hum roz jiya karte hain,
Jang hai yeh,
jo hum roz lada karte hain,
kabhi haarein, kabhi jeetein,
kabhi maarein, kai baar marein,
par jo suni lalkaar,
phir talwar uthaa liya karte hai.


jisne diya saath,
uske saath chale chalte hain.
jise dena ho maath,
us par hum chaalein chalte hain.
kabhi modein,kabhi mud jaayein,
kabhi badhein, kabhi ruk jaayein.
par jo dikhe raah,
phir kadam badha diya karte hain.


apna ho jab samay,
paraaye apnon mein badal jaate hain.
paas jo dikhe paraajay,
woh apne aap phir badal jaatein hain.
kabhi bilkul akele,
kabhi yaaron ke saath.
kabhi bichde mile,
kabhi saathi chodein saath
par jab tak rahe yaarana,
farz apna hum nibha liya karte hain

kya hain zindagi hamein mili,
aur kya hum jiya kartein hain.
kyun jang banakar,
is se hum roz lada karte hain.
sada sadbhav, sada sambhav,
sada satya, sada haathon mein haath,
jo jiyein aisa jeevan,
wahi maran ke baad bhi jiya karte hain.

FALL in love

Lost in those lovely long locks,
Drowned in those deep dark eyes,
Stung by those sweet and cute smiles,
Charmed by those double dimpled cheeks

Forget the rest of space and time,
Live this moment now.
Fear not about what happens next ,
Be Brave, Fall in Love.

Warning: People in love please don't read further. This is not intended for you.

With different people having different perceptions about love, let me make it clear that in this article, the word is used in a specific context. This is to ensure that the reader(s???) doesn't put his/her love in this context and get it all wrong.

So...Love...A four letter word that rules many in thw world and the worlds of many...?A Total Farce. The real word is ...Its not a four letter word. Now, thats for another blog.
People get attracted to the opposite gender(exceptions ignorable) based on the looks(most of the times), sometimes its a good natured help that brings them close. Sometimes, its the Chemistry(rather...biology) between two people, how they love to chat with each other, share common interests, if not, then they call it opposites attract. Anyway, the attraction is always there, which slowly turns into a bond. Some life long,some long-term, some short-term and some for a even more shorter term(term is after all a relative..well..term).
At most times the attraction is one-sided. For Ex.; A guy decides that "She" is perfect for him. Usually his friends do that( ...that she's perfect for him). Then he wants her to know what he feels about her. But before that, he has to know if she thinks the same..about some one else. In that case, displace him from her ...yes.."Heart". Then slowly occupy that place. create that chemistry. Try out different solutions. During all this, give mild indications to the people around, that he likes her(which they already know, but don't give a damn). Now that he's forcing the clues, people are forced to gossip. And somehow the gossip reaches her ears and this new reaches him. So, taking cues from the loads of Hollywood action movies he'd seen (once upon a time), he finds his strategy "Attack is the best from of defence".
He proposes. She may or may not accept. if she doesn't , then he starts it all over again, with a beard this time. After n number of rejections and insults, which seem insignificant compared to the "gift that she is" to him, she finally accepts and then they live happily everafter...Or do they...Well.Kahani mein twist(s). Now, they suddenly realise that they have parents to be convinced. (Eloping is always an option, though.) And thus begins another long process. All this time they remain worried about how they are going to succeed in their love(while, this was supposed to keep them happy). Finally, the D-Day arrives. No, not the marriage. the approval from parents. (After rounds of round table conferences). Then, marriage is reduced to just another formality.The thrill's already lost. But the love that they find in each other is incomparable to all this. After all, they were Made for each other.

Really???
May be even the soap that i use and I are made for each other. Initially I din't want to use it. I had just heard of it. One fine day, this salesman comes to my house and tells me all about the soap.But, I was already using one which I thought was the best for me. He compares both and tries to convince me to buy the new one. I reject it. He pursues this process relentlessly and then I get convinced. Once I start using it I find that its the best for me...I use it for the rest of my life. I think, as per recent trends, if we compare both cases, the relationship in the latter lasts much longer. A bad example really...Something like comparing Apples to Soaps.

Coming back to that process called love. Not everything what I mentioned in the process happens all the time. But i suppose every love story has a bit of it, and the rest involves an even more complex process. Very hard to believe those cases where there's a spark both sides at the first sight and immediately they both fall for each other(like in movies ). But with an overwhelming majority not falling under this case, I wonder on what basis they claim that "Love just happens"..Pyaar kiya nahi jaata,bus ho jaata hai. Better change it to "Pyaar kiya nahi jaata, karaaya jaata..woh bhi badi mushkil se".
The process is a less boring one , but almost the same in its spirit when it comes to Arrange marriages, only that there's a filtering process that takes place. Community, Horoscope etc. But, eventually the bond is formed. And a Strong one at that. The logic , somewhat idealistic but is quite sensible to my sensibilities. That this bond is formed on very less(if not zero) expectations and also with a mindset that the expectations need not be fulfilled, hence, with a readiness to adjust. After all, we don't select our parents, brothers and sisters. Don't we love them for what they are. And , nowadays I don't think if parents force it on us. Alteast, on those as well off,as to be reading this blog. Instead of wooing someone with antics and behaving like someone you never were and later on revealing the true self and giving an impression that there was a long-planned deceptive plot behind the downfall of ...Ok.( No offence intended.)Thats a never ending debate..So..Switching from the general perspective to the personal perception.

Anyone reading this, this far would have already formed this villainous(especially...the heroine's Dad) image of me. Nothing to disagree with. only that, there's a Flashback tat formed this perception.

Flashback begins-- Our shop was amidst the only busy area in Port Blair. I spent most of my free time at my shop. We lived nearby; just a minute's run away(time recorded).Since the shop was very small (Burma bazar type),I took care of it, whenever my dad had to go somewhere out. And since all the people around were my Dad's friends, there was nothing to fear. It was during this time that I heard a lot of stories from my Dad's friends.I was not the intended audience; they used to have these long gossip sessions every now and then. The topics varied. But there was one subject which ,I observed, was very frequent. Andamans being a mini India, was ideal for inter- marriages. And so couples eloping or their parents quarrelling or their relatives hiring goons to battle it out etc was a very regular event. That my shop was just a stone's throw away from the Police Station(I never tried throwing any, though) din't help either. After listening to all that prose and poetry in the movies about love, I din't find anything wrong in it. Nor did those 'busy' story-tellers. But this topic would lead to a discussion on "how well their(the lovers') parents had brought them up". They would blame everything on "Parenting". "Kya bachche paale hai, yaar? jinko Maa-baap ke izzat ka bhi khayaal nahi aaya !!!" And that made me wonder, what these men would think when they meet that 'parent' someday. The cordial behaviour would be on the outside, a farce, a mask. but, inside, they won't have even an a.u.(atomic unit) of respect. What's the parent supposed to do? Bow down to the Child's wish, sooner or later. Or totally abandon the relationship or force an arrange marriage. In any case, the bad parenting "tag" stays on. And what if the 'parent' comes to know of such an opinion on him. A sensible person would regard anyone who could opine like this as very cheap and not bother about his opinion at all. And thats what most parents do.(They have to).
If I ever happened to be in the position of that Son, i wouldn't have given a damn about what others think of my life. But... the person in question happens to be my DAD. And, thats impossible for me to bear. Anything, but not an insult to my DAD because of me.Even if its from a person who's not worth considering.
I know, all this sounds too naive. But how else do you expect a 10 year old to think. And this is how I felt when I was at that age.I had decided to never create such a situation for my Dad. And have not found any convincing argument to change it . The child in me had made that decision and the SON in me stands by it. Flashback ends----

Now that I have seen so many people around me with their love stories, I feel that I must have done some great deed in my 'pichla janam'(pona janmam), that I got such a mindset and consequently; No additional worries; Not having to pretend as someone else; Not being answerable to anyone to;Not paying huge Mobile bills;and the biggest of them all; Not having to like Shahrukh movies. With most of these people FALLing in love, I decided to rise. And so it will be.

Truth

Truth is like the sun. Its there for everybody to see. We go all around it and yet blame it for inconsistency. We don't see it all the time.Sometimes it awakens us. Sometimes its only partly visible and the rest remains hidden. it slowly but definitely rises and then comes a time when it is right above our head. So intense it becomes, that we tend to hide from it and in the process neglect it. And then at times it is soothing and a pleasant experience. Some people wait for this moment of joy. But there'll always be another person on this very earth, who'd be evading it at the same instance. Much like the sun, truth too fades away into oblivion. Only to awaken someone else. If you don't see it again, its you who dies. It remains immortal. Its there for everyone to see. But not at the same time and thats the reason why there is darkness.

A little trick

What you like a lot, you gradually start loving.
YOU make it a habit first and then IT becomes an addiction.

The trick, I feel, is to like many things and love a few.
Make good things a habit and get addicted to none

(Note:When "It" is a living thing, get addicted to only one.)

Never let go.

Not every face is a person to you.
Not every person is a friend to you.
Nor will every friend always stay beside you.

Not every companion of yours will you tell your problems to.
Not every such confidant 'll suggest a solution to you.
Nor will all such advisors help you solve it.

Not all helping hands will hold yours forever.
The ones that do, are the ones YOU never let go.

Three Sixes and a Four...

Probably, the first time in my life when I did not play TO WIN. And WE Lost. Obviously, it did not hurt me. But I forgot, rather neglected that there might be someone in my team who was plating to win that day. And it turned out to be one my closest friends. That a loss in a 6 over cricket match with a boundary line shorter than my Bowling run-up, could become so serious for him to write a blog and not stop with it , shocked me.
I'd always play my game very seriously. To the extent of getting angry with myself when I don't do well. I'd also get angry with others whom I feel were not committed to the game. But that Frustration would stay with me for not more than a few hours. Atmost, it would last till that night's dinner(or post dinner) discussions. That's it. And then I move on thinking that Expecting others to be equally committed to such trivial things as a tennis ball cricket match is, well, very Foolish.

Slowly but surely, I learnt. First, stopped howling at others' mistakes and cut it down to stares. Gradually the stares reduced. Now it became avoiding eye-contact for a few seconds. Then it became an appreciation of the least effort and finally to "There's always a Next time". I don't know how many of my friends realised this. But such a change did happen. I never expected them to recognize this change, coz for them their "He-won't-change" thought was firmly etched into their minds. Equally firm was my resolution of not gettin upset with things like these anymore. The reason: It was of no use.

Now, this little thing has come a full circle with me at the other end of the fence. My friends getting upset with me for not being serious in a game which was never meant to be serious at all. A Cricket Match without a Toss. That We'd bat first was decided by us(me and my friend, who later on made it only me) and accepted by the opponent team(They asked us: "Do you want ot Bat first or Chase???")

For a moment just imagine being hit for 3 sixes of the first three balls(one of which came of a edge) and then missing the outside edge by inches, only to be misfielded by the keeper and giving away another four runs as byes. And then, giving the keeper a SMILE. The last act is quite impossible for (atleast) Me to do when I play TO WIN. But then, There's always a next time. And I thought that others were thinking the same.

Only, later I realised that those who performed well in this match were displeased with my 4 sixes in an over (Oh...tried hard to conceal the fourth one, but gave up).
What should I do the "next time" such(3 sixes followed by four byes) a thing(God Forbid :-)) happens. Stare or Smile ???

Well, I'll live up to their image of "He-won't change" and then Smile :-)

Ahmiyat???

tanhai gham deti hai,
aisa logon se suna hai.
tanha hain hum ab tak,
gham ke baare mein ab bhi sirf suna hai.

kahaniyon mein padha hai,
ke pyaar kiya nahi ho jaata hai,
aaj-kal to samayrekha tay hai,
vilambh hua to nishaana badal jaata hai.

saathi ke khoj mein,
bhatakte hain log dar dar,
haasil karne waalon ki
durdasha ko dekh, kaanpta hoon main thar thar.

baaton mein mithas chidkein,
aur chehre par nakaab pehen lete hain.
ek doosre ko samajhna to door ki baat,
svayam apna vyaktitva bhoola dete hain.

zulfon, hothon aur nigahon mein kho kar,
saat janmon ka vaada karte hain.
punar janam aatma leti hai, roop nahi,
yah sathya magar bhool jaya karte hain.

chathri jaise rishton ka kya,
jo barsaat ke saath goom ho jaaye.
rishte hon to kalaai ke us dhaage ke samaan,
jo tootne par bhi nishaan chod jaaye.

na hum chaahe barsaat mein saath,
na humein kalaayiyon mein nishaan chahiye.
hum thaamna chaahein unka haath,
jinka saath humein umr bhar chahiye.

apni tamannaon ko bhool,
jaane tyaag mein vo kaisa sukh paayein.
ek aur mahatyaag unhe tab karna pade,
jab apne bachchon ki shaadi unke liye khabar banke aaye.

bhagode premiyon ka kya,
unhe bahaa le jaa rahi pyaar ki kashti hai.
bhugatthe to unke maata-pita hain,
jinke izzat ki uththi arthi hain